A Sleepy Eyed Observation

The Great Mike Hype

The Baddest Man on the Planet

Mike Tyson use to scare the shit out of me!

Seriously, it was no joke that whenever I saw the baddest man on the planet back in his heyday I was scared of his career ending knockout punches. My ninja turtle underoos would be soaked with piss just from the thought of fighting his 8-bit mug on Punch Out.

Somehow, those quick-round K.O.’s kind of make you forget about his childlike lisp for a minute. You don’t seem to want to wet yourself from laughter whenever you hear him say “ludicrous.”

Well, maybe not to his devil-smiling face.

But what I remember, is that there use to be something so powerful, so unstoppable, and so “pro-black” about him, or at least the heroic myth built around him.

It was that same heroic myth that would inspire black youths across the nation to be like Michael Jordan and supply Nike with an endless supply of hard earned money.
I think about it now, and maybe it was the rise of his boxing career that made him so damn cool to me. The idea was straight out of a late 80’s inspirational sports film.

A poor black youth, growing up onto a path of crime, and thus, a lifetime of jail, suddenly gets the chance to turn his life around the best way he knows how: his fists.
We watch him fight and rise, from dangerous crook to dangerous champion. Through training, we see that fire in his eyes transform into flames in his fist.

And through his wins, we learn that the training and muscle molding helped, it’s Tyson’s guts and ferocity through hunger that really drove him to be a champion.
It was that savage fearlessness, that in your face viciousness, that delivered the knockouts. Training only helped with the aiming.

Of course, this is the Hallmark channel version of Tyson’s story.

We neglect the epic downfall of our champion. We ignore the rape charges, the jail time, Buster Douglas, the Hollyfield ear bite, and needless squandering of money.

Just WHAT THE F%$K were you going to do with F%$KING WHITE TIGERS?!

We either forget or forgive Don King for what he did or didn’t do to hinder or help Tyson.

And now, we’ve trapped him in that same zoo cage we use to throw peanuts at the likes of Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, or any other celebrity joke.

And, if you’re like me, you don’t really miss him, but rather the image he fulfilled. You missed him because, for the bad that he eventually did, for all the controversy he brought to game, he still instilled that “hey, bitch, no matter the obstacles, I can make it to glory” confidence to all who looked up to him.

Tyson was a ghetto hustler to champion story before rappers started recalling snow-fueled tales to hit platinum.

It’s 2007.

I’m 22 and am currently scared of corrupt governments, lifetime financial instability, and having children at the age of 27 or <.

The “ Punch Out” series will only produce games like Super Punch Out, Punch Out 64, or “heywhatthef%&kisthewiiwatingongivememyf%$kingPunchOutgamenow 2: Electric Boogaloo.”

Mike’s probably facing jail time in the near future.

And the world is without an iconic badass from underground upbringings.

Or is it?!

The black, bearded badass

Enter Kimbo Slice, the Internet YouTube phenomenon who’s been streetfighing his way to computer monitors across the nation.

Slice, who’s big, black, and bearded, seemed to have come out of thin air with his consistent ass whoopings of other untrained fighters documented online.

Thirty seconds into most fights usually resulted in a quick knockout.

The man, born Kevin Furgson has been around however earning his fighting chops between the mean streets of Nassau and Miami since the age of 13. And as he got older and bigger, was impressive during his time as high school linebacker for Palmetto High School. He might might have gone onto college football if Hurricane Andrew hadn’t have hit his mother’s home.

While still homeless, he worked up enough guts to be a walk-on try out for the Miami Dolphins. Still, he was cut.

And then, Slice eventually started street fighting at first to literally knock out those who deemed themselves the toughest. And YouTubers ate it up.

Slice would still however, be an unmentionable among older mainstream fighting enthusiasts, it he hadn’t recently defeated former pro boxer Ray Mercer in a Mixed Martial Arts fight.

Now, at 33, Slice stands ready to prove himself as the next baddest man on the planet.

What it takes?

That’s a nice dream isn’t it? But the idea that Kimbo could suddenly come and pick up where Tyson left off does have its doubts.

For one, Slice is a little late in the game to be attempting to become one of the toughest men in the world. 33 isn’t really that old, but keep in mind that fighting–whether it’s boxing, MMA, or wrasslin’–is a young man’s sport.

Yes, you could argue that with age comes experience, but with Slice’s late entry into MMA he could still be considered a newb.

And while the man with “No Fear” tattoed on his arm isn’t afraid of anyone, guts alone can only get you so far.

True, as I stated before, fearlessness and hunger was the plutonium behind Mike’s punches. Proper training was the jet that dropped those bombs on opponents.

Slice has got a long way to go before he could actually survive against upper tier fighters. If you’ve followed his career, you know that this isn’t the first MMA opponent that Slice has fought.

We need to see how Slice holds up against tougher opponents because lets face it, Mercer was just a washed up fighter. And the same could be said of possible opponent Tank Abbott who also has a history of lacking in stamina when it comes to fights.

Before Mercer, there was Sean Gannon, a Boston Police Officer who beat Slice in a match. What’s ironic, is that while this match garnered Gannon an entry into the world of UFC, he lost his first match to Branden “The Iron Lion” Lee Hinkle .

While this match took place when Slice was just a bare knuckle fighter, the question still stands. If Gannon could beat him, what could upper tier veterans could do to him?

But the number one thing he needs to work on is stamina.

Notice how quick that fight with Mercer ended? Or did you notice the heavy breathing during training videos? Yeah, if it would have went multiple rounds, the match could have ended very differently.

Still, for what it’s worth, Slice does have hunger and shows no fear.

And as long as he keeps that with him, and continues to work on his weaknesses, Slice may just have a chance at becoming the next Mike Tyson icon.

He’s just got a looooong road to go.

—Sleepy Out

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